» About Last Night: Welcome Back, College Hoops

About Last Night: Welcome Back, College Hoops

AP Photo/John Miller Kyle Fogg

November 8, 2011

In case you were out living a life of leisure, here’s what you missed in sports on Monday.

Despite a shaky finish, the No. 16 Arizona Wildcats used 16 points from Kyle Fogg to defeat Valparaiso 73-64 on the first night of the college basketball season. “We’re not the 16th-ranked team in the country,” head coach Sean Miller said. “Maybe at some point we can get to that spot, but we still have a ways to go.” Somewhere in a dark basement, the shadowy genius behind the AP poll glowered at the television. “You’ll pay for this, Miller,” he said, sipping a glass of warm milk and running his other hand through a box of fine-grain sand.

Dee Bost scored 23 points as Mississippi State opened their season with a 76-66 win over Eastern Kentucky in the 2K Sports Classic benefiting Coaches vs. Cancer. With the loss, Eastern Kentucky moves up to No. 16 in the latest AP poll.

Nurideen Lindsey scored 19 points, and God’sgift Achiuw and Moe Harkless each added 17, to lead St. John’s past William & Mary 74-59. “I told you he was special,” said Achiuw’s mother.

The Eagles blew a fourth quarter lead for the fourth time this season as Jay Cutler (208 yards passing, 2 touchdowns) and Matt Forte (133 yards rushing) led the Bears to a 30-24 win. To add insult to injury, Bears coach Lovie Smith told reporters he was probably going to celebrate by buying that nude Michael Vick photo.

A “source” has reported that several owners are upset with David Stern’s latest offer to the players of a 50/50 revenue split, and hope they refuse. In other news, Don West and Eddie Lewis are infuriated about the insanely low price of this Shaq Plaque, and can’t believe it includes a poster of Shaq soaring through the clouds.

Steve Williams, Tiger Woods’ former caddie, has apologized for a racial slur he directed at Woods last Friday. Not only is racism harmful and degrading, but Williams’ epithet completely ignored half of Woods’ racial heritage.

After two difficult seasons and an ongoing 12-game SEC losing streak, Ole Miss football coach Houston Nutt is resigning. “It’s been a Nutty ride,” he said, continuing a habit of using his name in sentences. “I’ve got Nutting but good memories, but in the end I couldn’t Nutt the mustard.” “And that’s why he had to go,” said chancellor Dan Jones, standing nearby and looking crazed.

The San Francisco Giants have landed outfielder Melky Cabrera in a trade with the Royals, losing starting pitcher Jonathan Sanchez in the process. Most experts called the trade “fair,” inasmuch that neither side really seemed to care or even notice that a trade had been made.

BYU is in discussions with the Big East about joining the conference, but are only interested if there’s a new western division to help alleviate travel time. The conference readily agreed, immediately creating a “Big East West” that includes BYU, UConn, St. John’s, Louisville, South Florida, and Rutgers.