About Last Night: Seminoles Fitted For Bowling Shoes

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In case you were out living a life of leisure, here’s what you missed in sports on Thursday.

  • Florida St. scored 28 points in the first half to beat Boston College 38-7. With the win, the Seminoles qualified for a bowl for the 30th straight season. With three losses and their long fall out of the Top 25, though, they also qualified for welfare.

  • Manny Pacquiao’s promoter called the Mayweather camp’s public hint that the fighters may meet on May 5 “a joke.” “It seems like a bizarre way to go about it,” said Bob Arum. Floyd Mayweather could not be reached for comment, but sources inside his camp said that he will soon reach out to Pacquio with an offensive YouTube rant.
  • Sources have reported that if the current round of NBA labor talks fails, a group of players may push for decertification of the union, which would permit them to eventually sue the NBA under antitrust laws. In the absence of a player’s union, Kevin Garnett said he’d be psyched to finally start up that Blessed Union of Souls cover band he’s been talking about for so long.
  • The Idaho State Board of Education has cleared Boise St. to join the Big East. “We’re going to miss you guys,” the Board said. “We got to used to having you around.” Boise St. then attempted to explain that they weren’t actually moving their school east, but gave up when the Board presented them with a Statue of Liberty replica.
  • Michigan Wolverine basketball has taken yet another step in their recent resurgence by landing highly coveted recruit Mitch McGary. The 6’10″ McGary chose the school over Duke and Florida because Coach K was hesitant to go against tradition and recruit a talented player over 6’5″, and Billy Donovan creeped him out by showing up in the bushes outside his window every Friday night.
  • The Red Sox seem to have a similar managerial list to the Cubs, and both teams will soon speak with Rangers pitching coach Mike Maddux. With the Cubs, Maddux would have the exciting chance to mold the team’s raw talent and lead an optimistic franchise to a World Series. With the Red Sox, he would largely be occupied with trying to keep a drunken John Lackey from vomiting in public.
  • Theo Epstein has spoken with Terry Francona to gauge his interest in the Chicago Cubs managerial position. Francona admitted that he was intrigued, but wanted to know right off the bat if the Cubs had any public vomiters.
  • Giants running back Ahmad Bradshaw has a fractured foot, but may play anyway on Sunday against the Patriots. Upon hearing the news, nefarious Pats coach Bill Belichick asked the Giants to clarify which foot Bradshaw had injured, just to make sure none of his players conducted a targeted campaign to knock him out for the season.

Filed Under: About Last Night, Arizona Cardinals, Big East, Boise State, Boston Red Sox, Chicago Cubs, Florida State, Manny Pacquiao, NBA Lockout, New England Patriots, New York Giants

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Shane Ryan is a contributing writer for Grantland. His book about the young stars of the PGA Tour will be published by Random House in early 2015.

Archive @ ShaneRyanHere