About Last Night: Grabasaurus Rex

AP Photo/Orlin Wagner

In case you were out living a life of leisure, here’s what you missed in sports on Monday.

  • In a GQ cover story, Jets quarterback Mark Sanchez is quoted as saying he wanted to fight head coach Rex Ryan last season. Though many assumed the conflict stemmed from football matters, Sanchez later admitted he was annoyed that Ryan kept grabbing things off his lunch tray without asking, taking a single bite, and putting them back.
  • Marcos Ambrose won his first career Nascar Sprint Cup race in the rain-delayed event at Watkins Glen. After the race, there was an altercation between drivers Boris Said and Greg Biffle. Said called Bilffle a “scaredy-cat,” asking fans to text him his address, and promising to find him off the track and give him a black eye. Pictures of Boris Said and Greg Biffle indicate that if Biffle doesn’t already own an underground bunker, he should probably start building one.
  • Jim Thome hit his 600th career home run in a 9-6 Twins victory over the Tigers. It was Thome’s second homer of the night, and many think the milestone makes him a lock for the Hall of Fame. Cooperstown officials are already planning to enshrine him in the “players your kids won’t know, even if they’re really into baseball” room, next to Flip Dougal, Felicio Estrada, and Erskine “Trunks” Radley. (I just made those names up, but you couldn’t quite be sure, right?)
  • Despite looking shaky in a start that would determine his future in the rotation, A.J. Burnett lasted into the sixth inning as the Yankees topped the Royals 7-4. It was a rare August win for the troubled Burnett, and he celebrated by throwing a stolen cue ball through the window of a former girlfriend’s apartment at 4 a.m.
  • The Milwaukee Brewers executed an unconventional 4-6-3-2 triple play on their way to a 3-0 win against the Dodgers. It was a rare defensive highlight on a team known more for slugging, and Prince Fielder later apologized to Brewers fans for “making a sissy play.”
  • Kansas high school sports prodigy Bubba Starling chose the Kansas City Royals over Nebraska football, influenced no doubt by a hefty $7.5 million signing bonus. Starling said the relative success of the two programs wasn’t a factor, because “both teams will probably win the same number of games next year.”
  • Jason Giambi hit a walk-off 3-run homer to cap a ninth-inning rally in Colorado’s 7-4 win over Florida, and never has ‘walk-off’ been meant quite so literally.
  • The Braves had a game-winning hit of their own, courtesy of Freddie Freeman, in a 5-4 win over the Giants. San Francisco’s Brian Wilson blew the save, pushing him further to the right in the ‘Quality Reliever/Novelty Act’ spectrum, and leaving him just one quirky affectation away from ‘eccentric’ status. In related news, Wilson spent the hours after the game purchasing nine pairs of giant yellow rain boots.
  • Nelson Cruz and Mike Napoli hit back-to-back home runs and the Rangers extended their AL West lead to five games, thumping the Angels 8-4. After the game, Angels manager Mike Scioscia admitted that his struggling team’s only hope of making the playoffs depended on whether or not the rumors were true that the Rangers were joining the SEC.

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Filed Under: About Last Night, Colorado Rockies, Kansas City Royals, Mark Sanchez, Milwaukee Brewers, Minnesota Twins, Nascar, New York Jets, New York Yankees, Rex Ryan, San Francisco Giants, Shane Ryan, Texas Rangers

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Shane Ryan is a contributing writer for Grantland. His book about the young stars of the PGA Tour will be published by Random House in early 2015.

Archive @ ShaneRyanHere