About Last Night: Anagram Madness

PaulIn case you were out living a life of leisure, here’s what you missed in sports on Monday.

In today’s installment, I’ll ask a question after each recap, and then answer it in scrambled anagram form. It’s up to you to decode the (punny) answer. Throw your answers in the Facebook comments, and obviously don’t look down there if you want to avoid spoilers.

  • Chris Paul scored eight of his 27 points in overtime, leading the Clippers to a 101-97 win over the Grizzlies and a 3-1 series lead. After the game, which libertarian presidential ticket did the Clippers star announce? Lone LA-Burp
  • Manu Ginobili came off the bench to score 17 points as San Antonio finished a four-game sweep of Utah with an 87-81 win. What did coach Gregg Popovich call Ginobili after the game? On Moms Pure Theft
  • New York’s Brad Richards scored with 6.6 seconds left in the third period to tie the game at 2-2, and the Rangers went on to beat the Capitals in overtime to take a 3-2 series lead. To prevent the Rangers from falling into a 3-2 hole, what did Richards’s goal give his team? One panda squad dorm, sir
  • The Phoenix Coyotes reached the Western Conference finals for the first time in team history, beating the Predators 2-1 and winning the series in five games. Coyotes coach Dave Tippett drew pictures of the opponent, and will release them in what upcoming book? Do Report a Tech Steak
  • MLB suspended Cole Hamels for five games after the Phillies pitcher admitted that he threw at Nats rookie Bryce Harper on purpose. What inspirational movie will be made documenting the two players’ reconciliation? Bone Mane
  • Former Saints defensive lineman Anthony Hargrove said in a sworn statement that Saints assistants Gregg Williams and Joe Vitt told him to “play dumb” when asked about the team’s bounty system. It was easy enough for Hargrove, because the rest of his life had shown that he was what? Doctor A.A. Meth
  • The Minnesota state House of Representatives approved a new $975 million stadium for the Vikings, though they upped the share the team will have to pay. When it looked like no deal was forthcoming, the same House had almost been forced to change the state nickname to what? Lend No Sake, Heft No Fat Luds
  • Giancarlo Stanton extended his hitting streak to 10 games with a two-run homer, and Carlos Zambrano pitched a three-hit complete-game shutout as the Marlins topped the Astros 4-0. As he attempts to keep his weight down and avoid carbs, what is Zambrano desperately trying to resist? I Rim a Mice
  • In his first start since the no-hitter, Jered Weaver threw six innings of one-run ball, leading the Angels to an 8-3 win over the Twins. What did the terrible actresses say in unison about Angels skipper Mike Scioscia when the game began? Ten Hot-Jaw Deer
  • Lance Lynn became baseball’s first six-game winner, lasting five scoreless innings in a 9-6 Cardinals win over the Diamondbacks. Despite the feat, what phenomenon is distinctly not sweeping St. Louis? Salty Ninny

Filed Under: About Last Night, Bryce Harper, Chris Paul, Memphis Grizzlies, Miami Marlins, Minnesota Vikings, NBA Playoffs, New Orleans Saints, New York Rangers, NHL Playoffs, San Antonio Spurs, Washington Capitals

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Shane Ryan is a contributing writer for Grantland. His book about the young stars of the PGA Tour will be published by Random House in early 2015.

Archive @ ShaneRyanHere