Video on Demand Report: Starring Madonna and MMA Fighters (Though Sadly Not Together)
New Year’s Eve
EVERYTHING ALL OF THE TIME!!!!!!!!
New and Notable
Steven Soderbergh continues his excellent run of genre films with this slick, smart, critically acclaimed action thriller starring Channing Tatum, Ewan McGregor, Michael Douglas, Antonio Banderas, Michael Fassbender, and MMA fighter Gina Carano.
When do you think Ryan Gosling will realize that people aren’t listening to him because of how smart he is? He narrates this documentary about how young people are apathetic and uninformed, which is meant to spur them into becoming social activists. I hate when generations neg one another. There are jerks and dummies in every generation. You’re never going to recruit anyone to a cause by insulting them with garbage about how kids are materialistic and spend too much time online. Maybe I’m just being cynical and this is an inspiring film that offers practical ideas for manifesting change, but this trailer didn’t convince me.
Flicka: Country Pride
I was never a horse girl. I know other people find horses to be soulful companions, but to me they always seemed like weird dinosaurs that humans used as slaves. While I know that the bond between a person and her horse can be very deep, I would like to see more movies about girls and bears, or girls and large lizards.
Fight the Fight
Action flick directed by Ming-Sing Wong, a former choreography director for Jackie Chan’s stunt team and starring the legendary Sammo Hung, the Humphrey Bogart of martial arts films.
Pair Madonna’s W.E. with Sofia Coppola’s Marie Antoinette for a fun double bill of beautiful-looking-but-empty movies directed by unself-aware wealthy women about the difficulties of being a lonely rich lady insulated from reality in a beautiful-looking but spiritually empty world.
Queen Latifah and Dolly Parton in a heartfelt lesbian romance. No, I wish. This is a choir dramedy co-starring Keke Palmer. But still, Queen Latifah and Dolly, together.
Goodbye First Love
This is so unbelievably French. Dolorific folk music! Swimming in a creek by a wildflower-dotted field! An older man with greasy hair seducing a virginal-yet-knowingly-melancholy young girl! Titties!
Good for Nothing
A no-budget, existential Western from New Zealand about erectile dysfunction. Looks really interesting.
Accident on Hill Road
I love thrillers where somebody gets wasted at a really crazy party and takes a drug for the first time and then their life takes a forever turn into ultimate darkness.
South Korean indie romantic dramedy from director Hong Sang-soo. Composed of four interlocking vignettes about the relationships between two egotistical male intellectuals and the girl they both fall for and fail to treat very well, it’s reminiscent of Noah Baumbach, ’80s Woody Allen, and Truffaut’s Antoine Doinel movies.
“In Theaters” VOD Pick
Period bank-robbery movie about the Boyd Gang starring Ben (the hot one) from Felicity and ginger U.K. actress Kelly Reilly. Done in the same blue-and-grey finish as Boardwalk Empire for that olde-tymey feeling. Terrible temp music, but curiously fascinating-looking.
Weird Indie of the Week
On the Ice
Alaskan murder mystery about a teenage seal hunt gone horribly wrong. Feature-length debut of director Andrew Okpeaha MacLean, based on his earlier short.
Early VOD Premiere of the Week
Take Me Home
Not to be confused with ’80s comedy Take Me Home Tonight, this is a comedy about a free-spirited-but-salty fake cabdriver who drives an uptight woman across the country. I’m gonna guess they fall in love.
All In: The Poker Movie
I like blackjack.