Video on Demand Report: Bachelorettes, Bigfoots, and Catholic Basketball

The Headliner

Bachelorette

This is both a headliner and an early VOD premiere: Bachelorette will be in theaters next month, but you can watch it at home right now. But should you? Sure! It’s pretty good! Kirsten Dunst fearlessly commits to playing the alpha bitch maid of honor to Rebel Wilson’s bride. Lizzy Caplan is as endearingly prickly as ever, and the movie reunites her with her Party Down co-star Adam Scott. Isla Fisher plays an edgier version of the chirpy flibbertigibbet she embodied in Confessions of a Shopaholic (and by “edgier,” I mean “fueled by cocaine”). And James Marsden finally gets to play something other than a cuckold: an unapologetic dick!

Since I like you, I’m going to give you an important piece of information you won’t get from the trailer. You might assume that, since it comes from Will Ferrell and Adam McKay’s production company, Gary Sanchez, it’s a girly take on The Hangover that goes even further than Bridesmaids did last year. And there’s definitely a lot more drug use and violence than in Bridesmaids. But although it’s a very funny movie featuring lots of inappropriate behavior, it’s not a raucous comedy in the Hangover mold: It’s more character-driven, and more … melancholy. How much it makes you gasp depends on how emotional you get about the fate of a fictional character’s wedding gown. (In my case, it turned out to be very.)

New and Notable

The Raid: Redemption

My husband saw this when I went out of town and I still haven’t totally forgiven him. A platoon of cops taking on an apartment complex full of gangsters? “30 FLOORS OF CHAOS”?! Sorry, The Expendables 2, but I’ll be seeing The Raid this weekend. Hell, since the trailer reminded me of Kung Fu Hustle, I might watch that again too.

Third Star

Sherlock star Benedict Cumberbatch is James, who embarks on a camping trip with his three mates (they’re British) — probably his last, since he has cancer.

Woman, Thou Art Loosed: On the 7th Day

Blair Underwood and Sharon Leal play a couple whose relationship apparently falls apart in the wake of their daughter’s abduction. This is the second installment of the Woman, Thou Art Loosed series which I … have now heard of.

Fighting Fear

Two (real) hard-partying friends learn how to get out of their own way as they pursue their dreams of professional MMA fighting and big-wave surfing in this docudrama.

The Sword Identity

It’s the Ming Dynasty, and this one guy is super-good at sword-fighting.

The Mighty Macs

Look, I might see this because I am a total sucker for movies about inspiring teachers, and this one — in which Cathy Rush (Carla Gugino) coaches pre–Title IX basketball at an all-girls Catholic college — seems to fit the bill. Plus, some nuns cheerlead in black Converse high-tops, and I’m not made of stone.

Lake Effects

If the Catholic girls’ basketball isn’t wholesome enough for you, there’s this Jane Seymour–starring story about the crisis of a man’s death bringing his survivors closer together in a very Nicholas Sparks-y kind of way.

Breathless

You know, it’s one of those movies where yanking out a man’s teeth and dismembering him with an electric knife is supposed to be hilarious. Gina Gershon, what happened to you?

Tonight You’re Mine

A musician and one of his non-fans get handcuffed together at a Scottish music festival; extremely indie high jinks ensue.

Goats

I guess if David Duchovny is going to NOT shack up with Gillian Anderson IRL, it’s fine for him to make movies like this.

“In Theaters” VOD Pick

Sexual Chronicles of a French Family

… The Aristocrats! Just kidding, it seems like everyone Does It with people outside the family.

Weird Indie of the Week

The Dark Horse

With its upbeat soundtrack, older Seth Rogen–ish lead, and toupeed Christopher Walken, The Dark Horse really wants you to think it’s a quirky Garden State/Young Adult–style romp. But it’s directed by Todd Solondz, so just keep in mind that everyone in it probably ends up molested or dead.

Masochist’s Choice

Bigfoot

This cheap piece of junk — in which besieged humans are forced to take up arms against an enraged Bigfoot — stars Barry Williams, Danny Bonaduce, Howard Hesseman, Alice Cooper, and NOT Ted Nugent?! What the hell?!!?!

Filed Under: Bachelorette, VOD OCD