Total Recall Trailer: Where are They Hiding the Three-Boobed Hooker?


“Restrained” is probably the wrong descriptive adjective for a trailer that takes just over a minute to get to Colin Farrell making an “I suddenly know the cheat codes to this level” face (© 2002 Jason Bourne) and dispatching what looks like a squad of leftover Star Wars clone-troopers with his bare hands. And yet: While Underworld director Len Wiseman was reportedly fan-service-minded enough to make sure his forthcoming Total Recall reboot featured both a three-breasted space-hooker and a Kuato (played, because taking time off from movies to do Stoppard doesn’t pay for itself, by Bill Nighy), this trailer shows us neither. Instead we get Bryan Cranston, John Cho with archetypal creepy-guy blond hair, a glimpse of the reimagined Rekall Inc. offices (which look like a floating-touchscreen-enhanced Ruby Foo’s) and some hovercar shenanigans straight out of Minority Report, which happens to be the last point of overlap between Philip K. Dick’s oeuvre and Farrell’s. No word on whether anybody throws an exploding nice-old-lady head at Michael Ironside. It’s probably going to take sophisticated memory-erasing technology to convince moviegoers born after 1990 that Wiseman’s movie is anything except a workaday entry in the no-seriously-dude-what-is-reality Eternal Sunshine of the Vanilla Inception Matrix genre that Paul Verhoeven’s original Recall actually predates; if this version of the trailer doesn’t implant itself in people’s memories, expect a new, tri-boob heavy red-band version within twoooooooo weeeeeeks.

Filed Under: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Colin Farrell, Jessica Biel, Kate Beckinsale, Total Recall

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Alex Pappademas is a staff writer for Grantland.

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