Apparently seeking more dangerous dictatorial prey after neutralizing six-packed frat-despot Zac Efron with relative ease in Neighbors, Seth Rogen will soon embark on a mission to assassinate North Korean strongman Kim Jong-un in The Interview, coming this fall to a theater near you. But before you start screaming, “Don’t do it, Seth! It sounded like a fucking sweet idea when you were baked on Purple Bloodlust, but you’ll certainly be killed!,” realize that he will have some help in the form of James Franco, whom one can assume spent several hours a week FaceTiming into a head-of-state displacement seminar at Harvard’s Kennedy School, so, um, they got this. Franco has dog-eared the relevant inspirational passages in The Art of War and Franny and Zooey and Seth has figured out how to store a small-caliber weapon inside a blunt. And they’ve got those cool Dick Tracy watches. Nothing could possibly go wrong. Come on, they fought a 200-foot Satan in This Is the End. Piece of cake.
Murder shenanigans aside, one hopes that Jong-un shares his deceased father’s legendary love of film and takes this as the cinematic mash-note it’s intended to be, not some kind of declaration of hostility. We think we speak for other residents of Los Angeles when we say that no one here wants Jong-un delivering notes via Malibu-targeted ICBMs about the accuracy of his portrayal or Franco’s believability as a talk-show host. It’s all just funsies, Supreme Leader. Remember Team America: World Police? No one died over that, and it’s pretty flattering to have a movie written about you, when you think about it. Seth and James aren’t really coming to kill you. Promise.
So let’s keep this light. No nukes. Great. Our assistant will grab you a bottle of water on the way out.