The 300: Rise of an Empire Trailer, in Six Seconds

Trailers are so long, right? Two whole minutes of preview? Who has time for that in this day and age? Fifteen seconds in, we’ve already clicked back to Twitter, checked our e-mail, and comparison-shopped for a new TV on Amazon. Don’t waste our precious mental bandwidth, Hollywood studios. Tease us faster. Much faster. Cook it down and inject it directly into our eyeballs.

Maybe you’ve already clicked on the above trailer for 300: Rise of an Empire, seen the 2:30 running time, and bailed. Do they think I’m going to live forever? Below is everything you need to see in a tidy six-second Vine-bite. Rippling muscles. An angry bald dude with a bunch of shiny garbage stapled into his face. Someone sharpening a sword with a rock. A new guy who isn’t Gerard Butler. Lena Headey and Eva Green. The obligatory slow-motion front-kick of death. Ships. Fires. Abs. Six seconds. Six perfect seconds. Go. Go! You’re not going to live forever, but you can reclaim two minutes of precious hourglass-sand from this gang of sweat-slicked ancient Spartans.

Mark Lisanti is an editor at Grantland.

Archive @ marklisanti