What’s It Take to Stump the Amazing ‘The Office’ Video Clip Stare Machine?

NBC

A couple weeks ago, two guys named Joe Sabia and Aaron Rasmussen shared The Office Time Machine, which allows users to type in any year and see which of The Office’s 1,300 cultural references came from said year. It’s fun, thorough, and amazing. Now there’s another project inspired by the series, The Office Stare Machine, which compiles all 706 of the show’s patented camera-facing stares and filters them through the feelings we all feel. You type in an emotion, all the applicable clips play in sequence, and you’re hooked.

There’s a challenge, too: If you see every video, you’re rewarded with “a secret, epic, and beautifully crafted surprise video.”

Challenge accepted. And as I cruised through, I cooked up my own challenge: Stump the machine.

BUMMED? Fail; they’ve got it. One of the many stares:

THRILLED? Fail II.

JOYOUS? Still failing.

SLEEPY? Forever failing. (Although lots of these clips also played when I put in SAD, so I guess there are overlaps? That’s OK, though. I’m still beyond impressed with this thing.)

FLABBERGASTED? More like failbergasted.

And then, finally, I managed it.

Ha! That is so a legitimate emotion, people! (And there are so many Office Christmas episodes to pull from, too.) Other stumps I scored after that: funky, saucy, weepy, childish, overwhelmed, full of existential dread, high, low, industrious, brain dead.

Then I found a way to just see tons of the available emotions. May I present to you …

SEXY:

GRUMPY:

And, oh my gosh, DEMENTED:

The site also provides the bonus info that Michael Scott had the most happy stares, Jim Halpert had the most sad stares, Dwight Schrute was the leader for devious stares, and Pam Beesly-Halpert was the most worried.

The challenge, though: Eventually I figured out that you only need to watch 706 stares, period, rather than all 706 unique stares. So that was feasible in about an hour. The reward video — which, if you think I’m embedding it after all that hard work, you’re crazy — was splendid. And no, that’s not a viable emotion.

Filed Under: TV, The office

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Zach Dionne is a staff writer for Grantland.

Archive @ ZachDionne