Marilyn Monroe, Maybe-Racist Swordfighting Cats and Creepy Motion Capture Animation: The Week in Trailers
My Week with Marilyn Since moving on from the Creek, Michelle Williams has been slowing making a legit movie star out of herself with over a decades worth of solid supporting and fringe performances. In My Week with Marilyn she doesn’t just take the big “Above the Title” step, she throws down a the gauntlet by slipping into the skin of one of Hollywood’s most legendary icons — Marilyn Monroe. The film’s trailer is as affecting as it is shamelessly trolling for Oscars. Which is to say: A lot.
Verdict: Four and a half out of five facial moles
Puss in Boots
DreamWorks continues to scrape the last drops of dough out of the Shrek with the first (of probably many) spin-off films. Even with Guillermo del Toro on as Executive Producer (and uncredited script doctor) this trailer boasts far to high a does of DreamWorks’ patented blend of bug eyed characters and banal sophomoric humor. Nevertheless, for an offshoot of a series that’s steadily grown its worldwide box office from the first film to the fourth (Shrek: $484,409,218 and Shrek Forever After: $752,600,867) the release of this film was probably inevitable.
Verdict: Two out of five pooooosssssibbbly racist Spanish accents
The Other F Word
The documentary The Other F Word catches up with an impressive group of former icons of the “Punk” lifestyle (Flea, Lars Frederiksen, Art Alexakis, and Tony Hawk to name a few) in order to see how their lives have changed now that they’re…responsible parents. With sound bites like, “There’s nothing really in the punk rock ethos which prepares you for being a dad” and “The two dominatrixes on my arm…how do you explain that to a four year old?” the trailer for The Other F Word is so damn endearing, we think it’s literally impossible to screen it and not want to see the film.
The Verdict: Five out of five f-words you can use on Grantland.com
The official theatrical trailer for Luc Besson’s The Lady is pretty awful. It plays like one of the amateurishly patched together B-level trailers studios would force audiences to watch (or fast forward through) when the VHS roamed free across the living rooms of these Great United States. Which is unfortunate because The Lady actually looks like it could be a well made film. Anchored by what appears to be a career defining performance from the stoic Michelle Yeoh and the always terrific David Thewlis (better known as Professor Lupin). Oh well.
Verdict: Two and a half out of five people wondering if Besson will ever make another movie as good as The Professional
Tower Heist’s second trailer is solid. We’re particularly fond of Eddie Murphy bullying Matthew Broderick and Ben Stiller beating his car. Are we really looking forward to a Brett Ratner move? Next question.
Verdict: 3 and a half out of 5 gun touting Preciouses
The insanely creative Aardman Animation Studios was once an Oscar magnet, primarily known for hilariously quaint, but very British claymation short films about talking zoo creatures and a man and his dog obsessed with cheese. So it’s sad to see their name attached to a trailer for a seemingly commonplace Holiday Season animated money grab.
Verdict: One out of five sad Gromits.
The Adventures of Tintin: The Secret of the Unicorn
With The Adventures of Tintin it appears Steven Spielberg has taken the logical final step in his directing career because with Motion Capture technology he’ll finally be able to control and manipulate every minute detail on screen. Some could argue that he attempted to take this step three years ago pitting our beloved fedora fitted hero against a colony of giant CGI ants and aliens. With Peter Jackson producing and a script by the geek-boner inducing trio of Steven Moffat (BBC’s Dr. Who), Edgar Wright (Shaun of the Dead), and Joe Cronish (Attack the Block) The Adventures of Tintin could be Steven’s “Mea Culpa” for nuking Indy in a fridge.
The Verdict: Five out of five Belgian folk heroes
And then four days later Spielberg drops this. SHAPLOW! If Tintin is Sr. Steven’s return to form in the family friendly popcorn film genre, then War Horse takes us riiiiiggghht back to that nuked fridge. Adapted from the Tony Award winning play, War Horse tells your typical World War I boy-meets-horse, boy-falls-in-love-with-horse, boy-loses-horse, boy-and-horse-are-miraculously-reunited story. There’s not a single moment in this new trailer that seems genuine. Every slow push into a face, epic battle crane shot, and speedy dolly shot of the horse telegraphs the emotional response Spielberg is trying to fish out from his audience.
The Verdict: AGGGHHH! OUR EYES BURN! THEY BURN!