Kelly Clarkson’s Marriage Hits the Rocks … and More Major Bummers From This Week’s Tabloids
Is Kelly Clarkson’s Husband Cheating on Her While She’s Pregnant? “Two women claimed they’d carried on affairs” with Kelly’s new husband, Brandon Blackstock, in the past year. “While Brandon, 37, has disputed the cheating claims, sources close to his ex-wife insist he has a long history of adultery.” Friends are worried about Kelly’s well-being. “She finally thought her dream to get married and have a baby had come true, but it’s turning out to be a nightmare.” The first cheating allegations were posted on The Dirty by a woman who said she was having an emotional affair with Blackstock via texting. Another woman said she’d had sex with Blackstock at an after-party for The Voice, which stars his client Blake Shelton. The woman said Clarkson “ain’t gotta know. This kind of thing happens in this business all the time.”
So two anonymous Internet commenters dished some dirt, big deal. Wait, is it? “While the anonymous posts of two women on a sex-rumor website are not necessarily cause for concern, Brandon’s romantic history could be.” According to family members, Blackstock cheated on his first wife constantly. “Melissa caught him running around on her three or four times. Melissa wasn’t happy and wanted out.” Another commenter said, “Brandon traveled often and was VERY unfaithful. Don’t know much about him and Kelly’s relationship but since faithfulness is not his forte I hope that she is careful with her heart!” He is known as a ladies’ man around Nashville, where he lives. “There was lots of talk around town that he cheated on Melissa and most who know him wouldn’t be a bit surprised if he’s cheated on Kelly. He’s a great sweet-talker and knows how to manipulate women into falling for him.” Sounds like country music!
Clarkson shot back on Twitter: “Keep hearing random rumors of me & Brandon splitting or that he’s cheating on me. Stop with all the lying please.” She’s pregnant, suffering from morning sickness, and super stressed. Plus, her dog died! “The reports are really taking a toll on Kelly. She is putting on a happy face for the public and trying her best to trust that Brandon wouldn’t cheat on her, but any woman in her position subjected to this type of news would be concerned. God forbid there’s any truth to those reports.”
Lindsay Lohan & Paris Hilton’s “Blood Feud”: “The Hatfields and the McCoys. The Capulets and the Montagues. The Lohans and the Hiltons?” Duh! “The scene: A cocaine-fueled house party on Star Island, Fla., where Lindsay’s pal Ray LeMoine was renting a home.” Paris’s little brother Barron Hilton “was doing Whip-Its all night and was beyond wasted. He was being incredibly loud and obnoxious.” Lohan wanted him to leave, so she told LeMoine. “When Ray confronted him, Barron shoved Ray, causing things to escalate. That’s when Ray went crazy and beat the crap out of him.” Druuuuuuugs. “Paris has called Lindsay every name in the book, from ‘firecrotch’ to ‘coked-out whore.'” They had been chatting like friends at a club earlier that night, but after the Barron incident, Paris swore revenge.
Britney’s Tour Rider: “Britney is insisting on Froot Loops, Pop-Tarts, Cap ‘n Crunch, Gatorade, Doritos and potato salad. Plus In-N-Out cheeseburgers without buns, a life coach on call 24/7 and 200 fresh towels a day.” That sounds AMAZING!
Justin Bieber: “Justin was walking up to hot girls asking them if they wanted to get ‘Biebered.'” His friends thought it was hilarious, but to Justin it’s not a joke — he thinks he’s so incredible in the bedroom that it’s a privilege for girls to get with him.” Ahahahahahahahahahhahahahaha. Oh man, that’s rich.
Kris Jenner & Ben Flajnik: “Kris Jenner takes her role as a cougar very seriously.” YUP. While dating Ben “Kris has turned into such a voracious sex machine that he struggles to keep up with her. Kris and Ben go at it every night. She boasts about how dominant Ben is in the bedroom and how he lasts for hours.” Ahhhhhh! After separating from Bruce Jenner, Kris “needed to fulfill her insatiable appetite for sex so she’s incorporating many props and sex toys into her bedroom activities.” Like watching her daughter’s sex tape? No. “A box of vibrators.” Just one box?
Kim Wants Kanye to Lose Weight: “The rapper, 36, who frequently performs shirtless, was delivered a swift kick in his uncontainable ego after Kim, 33, hinted at the ‘spare tire’ around his stomach and insisted he lose weight. Kim’s tried everything to get Kanye to work out more, but he’s actually gaining weight instead of losing it.” She tries to “sabotage Kanye’s meals by telling the restaurant servers to ‘hold the dressing and cheese’ which ‘enrages’ Kanye who thinks he’s in tip-top shape.” C’mon, Kanye. She put in the work. Now you put in the work.
Misc/Etc: “Gwyneth doesn’t have a clue and thinks he loves their ‘conversations’!” “Guess he’s not part of the mile high club?” “Acting is her dream and now she feels it will never happen” “FIFTY SHADES OF FULL FRONTAL NUDITY!” “critics panned her wooden performance” “Don’t quit your day job!” “Who has ditched his signature shaved head” “vodka with water and lemon so I can hydrate as I drink” “Eighties icon Molly Ringwald looked as young as ever” “Actor turned DJ! Gerard Butler worked the wheels of steel” “snow may have been fake” “Holly Madison and an Elvis impersonator” “Edward Burns picked out a Mafia-inspired fedora” “I WON’T MARRY AGAIN” “he numbs tension by partying” “just call them the Griswolds!” “For a woman of 65 she still looks pretty good” “happily married to famed herbalist”
Kim Kardashian “My Body’s Back!”: Why, where was it? Did you leave it somewhere? “Kim raised the stakes to a bikini. Just after sunrise on November 30, she slipped out onto a deserted Miami beach to take her first swimsuit stroll since having daughter North in June.” NOT STAGED AT ALL. Kim says “I was really hurt by everyone criticizing me while I was pregnant. It was really harsh. I felt bullied throughout my pregnancy, and that was awful. My medical condition of preeclampsia made it difficult for me, but I knew I would bounce back.” Even though parenting is “not all his and hers Lanvin bathrobes,” Kimye are overjoyed.
Nigella Lawson Cops to Drug Use: “The TV chef, 53, admitted that she had previously used cocaine and that she had also smoked cannabis ‘fairly recently’ in front of her teen son and daughter.” While she might like the occasional joint (what chef doesn’t?!), she says she is absolutely not “a drug addict or a habitual user of cocaine,” calling it “ridiculous.” Since divorcing abusive husband Charles Saatchi she says she’s stopped “self-medicating” and is 100 percent “drug-free.”
Clint Eastwood: “Playing jazz piano used to make his day! Now the actor and director, 83, often composes his own film scores.” Someone please find me video of young Clint Eastwood playing jazz piano, stat, thank you!
Forest Whitaker: “I sang opera.” (He’s a tenor.) He sings gospel in Black Nativity.
Roseanne vs. Oprah: “Roseanne Barr, 61, flipped when a twitter fan suggested she create a show for Oprah Winfrey’s network.” Roseanne tweeted (and deleted) that Oprah is “narcissistic” and “surrounded by retards who kiss her fat ass.” Winfrey didn’t respond, because duh. Roseanne said she wanted to razz the big O’s “self-righteous groupies.” Roseanne later recanted, although she didn’t admit she knows a thing or two about being a huge narcissist. It’s show business! Everyone is a huge narcissist!
Lenny Kravitz Meets His Daughter’s Ex-Boyfriend Michael Fassbender: “The door rang … and he said, ‘Good to meet you, sir,’ and I was like, ‘Sir? We ain’t that far apart.'” Fassbender, ya burnt. So how old are your girlfriends, Mr. Kravitz?
Joe Jonas Shades (Probably) Taylor Swift: With reference to losing his virginity, Joe says, “You look back and you go, ‘That girl was batshit crazy.’ I’m glad I didn’t go there.” He is presumed to be talking about either Swift or Demi Lovato. Either way, Joe, you have no class!
Aisha Tyler on Kanye: “He should get, like, a smartphone and say everything he’s gonna say publicly into the phone and then listen.”
Ethan Hawke: “It doesn’t matter if my daughters don’t like Star Wars. But when I say, ‘This is a Stormtrooper, son,’ and he’s like, ‘Who cares?’ that’s difficult.” That is why you are the WORST, Ethan Hawke. Girls like Star Wars, too, ya dumbass. Lelaina shouldn’t have picked Troy OR Michael. They’re both terrible.
Things You Don’t Know About Steven Van Zandt (Excerpted)
- “Though my last name is Dutch, I’m 100 percent Italian.”
- “The British Invasion is the reason I play music.”
- “My wife, Maureen, and I were married by Little Richard. Bruce Springsteen was my best man. And Percy Sledge sang ‘When a Man Loves a Woman’ for us as we walked down the aisle.”
- “I remember Annette Funicello as my first real screen crush.”
- “My show Lilyhammer was the first original series on Netflix.” (A NEW YORK GANGSTER? IN NORWAY?)
- “The gangster classic Angels With Dirty Faces is my top film. The Roaring Twenties is a close second. Both of them star my favorite actor, James Cagney.” (GOOD TASTE, LITTLE STEVEN!)
- “I created the first two original music channels on SiriusXM.”
- “I’ve been married to Maureen for more than 30 years. Her pancakes are the best.”
- “I got thrown out of high school for having long hair. I went back and graduated to make my mother happy.”
Couples Who Have Been Engaged for a Long Time: Amy Adams and boyfriend Darren Le Gallo have been engaged since 2008, but Adams, 39, says, “I’m not getting married anytime soon.” Kate Hudson and Matthew Bellamy have been “engaged since 2011” but are being predictably chill about when it will take place. Hudson says the wedding “will happen eventually.” They have a kid together. Jennifer Hudson has been affianced to David Otunga for five years. They also have a kid together. Hudson says, “When I’m ready to be married, I will be.” Jessica Simpson and Eric Johnson, on the other hand, have been engaged for three years but keep putting off the wedding because “he keeps knocking me up!” Time to elope? Or just stay engaged forever to make the tabloids go crazy.
Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux’s Holiday Party: “Jennifer Aniston (in leather pants) and Justin Theroux (in jeans and a tee)” hosted 60 friends at their Bel Air Mansion, including “Courteney Cox, Chelsea Handler, and Gwyneth Paltrow.” Theroux and Aniston made sure party guests had drinks. There were “hurricane candles and lit fireplaces” plus a “hearty Mexican buffet.” This sounds like a great party, even if it ended at 10 o’clock. Guacamole and a fireplace!
The Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show Pre-Party: “Behati Prinsloo tells Us she had a ‘spray-tan slumber party’ with fellow models Karlie Kloss and Candice Swanepoel on the eve of the affair. The 5-foot-10 Namibian beauty, 24, even indulged in wine!”
Mary-Kate Olsen Wants a Baby With Olivier Sarkozy: “She’d like to get pregnant but isn’t so sure about the marriage.” RUN, GIRL.
Misc/Etc: “It sucks in everything!” “I like sexy stuff” “the private pair, who wed on Valentine’s Day nearly seven years ago, parted without much drama” “I’m probably the only person who still carries stamps” “I enjoy practical jokes so sometimes I’ll carry stuff to make people laugh. Right now, I have a rubber mouse with me!” “it’s real human hair” “Adrian Grenier got ceviche, nachos and lemonade in Miami Beach” “Leonardo DiCaprio hovered on a Flyboard in Spain” “choosing Harry over hoofing!” “Cressie is looking at courses” “Dream vaca w my love” “We’re practically married!”
Amanda Bynes Speaks: “It’s been five days since I got out of rehab and I am doing very well. I’m doing great.” She’s been chilling with her parents in the valley, going to Costco and Forever 21. Good luck, Amanda!
Kanye Loves The Hunger Games: “The rapper, 36, is so infatuated with the Hunger Games franchise that he’s seen the film’s latest installment, Catching Fire, three times since its Nov. 22 release. He loves the movie and can tell you absolutely every detail.” One of his first dates with Kim was to see a screening of The Hunger Games in 2012! “He just loves how it’s so theatrical and over the top.”
Donnie Wahlberg & Jenny McCarthy 4Ever: “Do I feel like she’s the one? She’s everything I could have asked for.” He says they are “both workaholics” but have “similar schedules.” He is proud of his boy band past. When asked to dish on groupies, he says, “You know, we were really famous in the times of AIDS and HIV spreading. One of our idols, Magic Johnson, announced he had HIV while we were touring the world — so we were very careful. We probably don’t have as many wild tales as most bands do.” I bet yours are GOOD, though! Does he have any regrets? “No. “We were onstage singing in front of 100,000 people and having them sing every word to our songs. It was the best time — and I’m still doing it, so I’m really happy.” Is Donnie the coolest Wahlberg? I think he might be! What’s his favorite movie? “Three Men and a Baby.” Yes, that is perfect.
How Long Does Lorde Like to Go Without Washing Her Hair: Six weeks.
Bruce Jenner Dons Drag: It’s for a movie! A spoof called The Hungover Games. And since you asked, he looks FIERCE.
Misc/Etc: “Craziest slimdown ever?” “she recently lost 15 pounds and started a vegan diet” “with her astronaut microphone” “twerking Santa Claus” “come a long way from riding a lawn mower” “Harry Styles, 19, takes the subway” “rocks an umbrella hat” “Lights, camera, bedtime?” “My new friend, for today!” “I’M READY TO BE A GOOD MOM” “the kids are driving us nuts” “[to get married on TV]” “It’s very hurtful that people can’t just be happy for me” “The ring is off!” “She clearly has too much Botox in her forehead, which has given her a subdued look.” “The red and swollen tragus” “She went from hot to not with those ridiculous pigtails” “ALL HAT”
Mariah Carey: “My father used to make linguine with white clam sauce and he passed the recipe down to me.” Hope she cooks like she sings.
Kristen Bell: “I had two older sisters and I think the relationship between siblings is so special. You’re able to share that ‘we’re all in this together’ feeling because growing up is, like, the worst. Your body hurts and you can’t communicate with anyone, and you think you know stuff before you know it, and your parents are idiots and they’re embarrassing.”
Misc/Etc: “As the saying goes, if something seems too good to be true — it probably is.” “forced to watch him find happiness and a huge family” “careened through a succession of boyfriends” “PDA’d like dreamy-eyed teens” “It’s looking bleak” “WE’RE INDIE DARLINGS” “making self-effacing jokes about being a spinster” “Hollywood’s most celebrated spurned wife” “in a melancholy mood once the drinks began to flow” “She really tried to make him feel at home, even having a huge marble sauna built for him” “One of Hollywood’s great unsolved mysteries is the identity of the father of January Jones’ son, Xander” “LORDE OF THE CLING” “thank you for allowing me to do what I do. it’s all for you. #blessed”