Where in the World Is Jennifer Lopez?

Where In the World Is Carmen Sandiego? has been optioned by Walden Media as a live-action adaptation for Jennifer Lopez to co-produce and possibly star in. In the new version, top detective Sandiego goes on the run as an alleged thief, and has to be tracked down by her former partner. This is a good time to point out that one fun thing to do, when people ask you what kind of music you like, is to just say, “Rockapella.” Grade: A- [Deadline]

The live-action Akira is now officially booking actors. Tron: Legacy’s Garret Hedlund has been confirmed as Kenada, the leader of a bike gang saving their friend with psychokinetic abilities from government experiments. Gary Oldman is in talks to play the Colonel. Also in this movie, most likely: other white people. Grade: C [Deadline, Showblitz]

The Help director Tate Taylor has come on board Tammy, the Melissa McCarthy comedy about “an overweight woman who is laid off from her job at Hardee’s, discovers her husband is having an affair, and decides to go on a road trip with her alcoholic, foul-mouthed, diabetic grandmother.” Taylor’s primary contribution to the project, as is his M.O., will a potent injection of divisive racial politics. Grade: B [HR]

Melissa Leo and Hayden Panettiere have joined Nick Stahl and Freddy Rodriguez on Over the Wall, a movie set in the world of stock car racing. The plot revolves around a husband, a wife, a surrogate mother and a best friend coping with a tragic event. The details of that tragic event haven’t been explained yet, so go ahead and assume it has something to do with the snack shack at the racing track running out of Slim Jims. Grade: B- [HR]

Darren Aronofsky will direct a video for Lou Reed and Metallica’s “Iced Honey,” a track off the much maligned Lulu. In a statement, drummer Lars Ulrich said, “As if making a record with Lou Reed is not enough, now I get to make a video with Darren Aronofsky who has been among my very favorite filmmakers since his first movie, Pi.” In a response statement, Darren Aronofsky said, “That’s funny, because Metallica has been my favorite band since Kill ‘Em All … well, until fucking Lulu, of course.” Grade: A [HR]

NBC is developing a comedy called Isabel, based on the French-Canadian show Le Monde De Charlotte, about a “normal angry middle class family that wrestles with the challenges of everyday life while raising a daughter who has magical qualities.” Playing the magical daughter will be David Blaine. Grade: C- [Deadline]

Filed Under: Akira, Gary Oldman, Grading the Trades, Jennifer Lopez, Melissa Mccarthy, Metallica, The Help

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Amos Barshad has written for New York magazine, Spin, GQ, XXL, and the Arkansas Times. He is a staff writer for Grantland.

Archive @ AmosBarshad