How Much Should Host Lindsay Lohan Address Herself on Saturday Night Live?

The last time Lindsay Lohan hosted Saturday Night Live, it was April of 2006. She was in between Herbie: The Love Bug and that movie where Chris Pine steals her soul or whatever, and her career seemed to be chugging right along. Yeah, there were some early signs of trouble; in fact, Tina Fey and Amy Poehler had recently done a pretty sweet “Weekend Update” bit on panic to Lohan’s progressive partying proclivities. (It’s a particularly good three minutes for anyone who misses Marquee shout-outs.) Fast-forward six years, through the never-ending spiral of petty thievery and decorative nail paint messaging, and now Lohan’s back on SNL, this time hoping to launch a mini-comeback. She’s got no big project to plug, but she is supposedly back to work (an Elizabeth Taylor made-for-TV biopic apparently goes into production soon). She’s also doling out interviews about her rehabilitation: In a chat with Today that airs tomorrow, Lohan says that “it could be scary for people to invest in me” but declares she won’t “let anyone down, especially myself.”

So: Assuming you have at least a passing interest in seeing Lohan brush herself off, or at least a passing interest in human redemption arcs in general, how could Lindsay best acquit herself on Saturday night? More specifically: How much should she address all the tabloid stuff? It’s a must that she make fun of herself: Everyone knows the best way — perhaps even the only way — for disgraced celebrities to get people to like them again is to make fun of themselves on television. And besides, what else besides the legal trouble can the writers use as fodder? Unfortunately, not that many people saw Labor Pains. So are we talking every second sketch will be a TMZ parody? Every third sketch will be “Lindsay Lohan’s Legal Counsel”-type TV spot? Maybe just a big cold open with Lohan getting a jailhouse stick-and-poke will do?

In the new promos for the show, Lindsay and Kenan have this exchange:

K: It’s unfortunate that people have paid so little attention to you over the last few years.
L: I know! If only magazines and websites had documented my activities more closely … I mean, America could have used more information about me, or maybe even a picture or two.
[Deadpan faces]

Huh. OK. So we are possibly dealing with repeated veiled references to the predatory nature of the gossip news cycle?! Anyway, Saturday should be interesting.

Filed Under: Lindsay Lohan, Saturday Night Live, Television

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Amos Barshad has written for New York Magazine, Spin, GQ, XXL, and the Arkansas Times. He is a staff writer for Grantland.

Archive @ AmosBarshad