Grading the Top 10 Songs in … DUBSTEP!

1. Avicii & Nicky Romero, “I Could Be The One (Dank USA Remix”)

I have already endorsed this generic summer choon in two previous installments of Grading the Charts based mostly on its video about an office worker gone wild on a tropical dream vacation. Dank is a DJ who runs his own label called Funky Element Records. This makes me feel like a sketchy teenager, but for something so bass-heavy it weighs almost nothing.

Grade: B-

Best YouTube Comment: “I could be rawwwwwwwrrrrrrr wieueueeueue pfrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr ksssshhhhhhhhhh” — JanGraaf

2. Rudebrat, “Won’t Stop”

That Lex Luger wheels spinning up sound is EVERYWHERE lately. It reminds me of a specific Sonic the Hedgehog sound effect. “Trap” is becoming one of those catchall music terms like “emo” where all kinds of absurd things get counted as trap music even though it’s really a fairly specific genre. This is self-proclaimed “trap & bass,” a hybrid of trap and dubstep. Rudebrat is Jake Bratrude, a 22-year-old Bay Area producer who has made dubstep remixes of Mozart. I just saw Spring Breakers for the second time so I feel predisposed to liking this right now.

Grade: B+

Best YouTube Comment: “Makes me want to rob a bank” — apresley34

3. Noisestorm, “Together”

BROOOOOOOSTEPPPPPPPPPPP!

Grade: C+

Best YouTube Comment: “my cat listened to this now he is a lion” — MultiFanboy101

4. Vaski featuring Betty Borderline, “Baddest”

Betty Borderline sounds like Peaches crossed with Katy Perry. She releases non-electronic music under her birth name, Meagan Carey. Vaski is a 23-year-old producer from Minnesota who looks about 12 with his Pete Campbell baby face.

Grade: B-

Best YouTube Comment: “hearing this live was literally crazy” — jacobwells

5. Au5 featuring Shaz Sparks, “Crystal Mathematics”

Should I become a dubstep singer? Would I be redundant given the existence of Katy B? What should my alliterative name be? Or can I just go by “MOLLY”? This makes me feel like I’m peaking in the Vanilla Dome.

Grade: B

Best YouTube Comment: “I swear to fuck I got high by the time this song ended And I didn’t take anything I just sat And listened Like wtf au5 is such an amazing musician as well as a producer. Fuck this, I quit life. Potato.” — DaenineMusic

6. Underworld, “Rez (Bassnectar Remix)”

Yes it’s that Underworld, “Born Slippy” from Trainspotting Underworld. This is a Bassnectar remix of their 1993 hit single “Rez,” the original version of which plays during the club scene in Vanilla Sky. “Rez” was not released on an album, but the original ’93 promo single release is highly coveted and pressed on pink vinyl. Danny Boyle put “Rez” in the 2012 Olympics opening ceremony. This remix from Santa Cruz DJ/producer Bassnectar is good, but it’s no match for the original “Rez.”

Grade: B

Best YouTube Comment: “This is a classic taken into a crazy direction” — ElizabethScoggins

7. Helicopter Showdown, “Can U Feel Me (Antiserum Remix)”

Post–Major Lazer trap-step from four-man San Francisco crew Helicopter Showdown remixed by SF producer Antiserum. It’s not that far a walk from hyphy knocks to dubstep drops, but this gets trapped (sorry) between the two in a nonspecific middle. Thizz dubstep could be amazing, but “Can U Feel Me” isn’t.

Grade: C

Best YouTube Comment: “This genre of music. It uses Hip Hop like beats with electro house sounds added. Honestly I’m surprised that Beatport hasn’t made it its own genre on their website yet” — BobMarley

8. Kahn featuring Flowdan, “Badman City”

Dubstep heavy on the dub, seasoned with a lot of grime. The British always lead the way in post-apocalyptic electronic music that sounds like plates shifting underwater. I am going to edit Black Mirror fan videos to this.

Grade: A+

Best YouTube Comment: “Executioner’s anthem” — TheDungeonSound

9. Flux Pavilion featuring Childish Gambino, “Do Or Die”

Tumblrstep? Chiptunestep? Nerdcorestep?

Grade: D

Best YouTube Comment: “Not too crazy about dubstep or rap, but the combination of the two is perfect!” — AlexanderSummerour

10. Schoolboy &. James Egbert featuring Taylr Renee, “Stardust”

This goes soft.

Grade: F

Best YouTube Comment: “Where the fuck is the filthy bass?!?!?!” — CreerBoss

Filed Under: Childish Gambino, Grading the Charts, Music

Photo on 2014-01-10 at 12.58 #3

Molly Lambert is a staff writer for Grantland.

Archive @ mollylambert

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