Grading the Top 10 Songs in … Dance/Club Play!

1. Duke Dumont ft. A*M*E, “Need U (100%)”

Duke Dumont is a British DJ and producer who runs a label called Blasé Boys Club. He’s a protégé of Switch and has his own volume of the FabricLive series. He’s remixed artists like Lily Allen, Santigold, and Bat for Lashes. The ’90s house music revival continues with “Need U (100%),” which recalls Crystal Waters’s 1994 classic “100% Pure Love.” The vocals are by singer Aminata Kabba, better known by her stage name A*M*E.

Grade: A

Best YouTube Comment: “why didnt he just press the stop button whilst it was inside him?” — Dr00pysp00n

 

2. Kat DeLuna, “Stars”

Kat DeLuna is a pop singer from the Bronx who’s been looking for a hit for several years. Her biggest press came from a botched national anthem at an Eagles game in 2010, and a soundalike controversy when the similarities between DeLuna’s “Party O’Clock” and Jennifer Lopez’s “On the Floor” were pointed out. “Party O’Clock” came first, but it’s always party o’clock somewhere.

Grade: C-

Best YouTube Comment: “Awesome song!!! This is WAY better than JLo new single, “Live It Up”. This coming from a JLo fan and I’m also a Kat DeLuna fan. Can’t wait for VIVA OUT LOUD which is long overdue.” — bsali80

 

3. Kylie Minogue, “Skirt”

Maybe it’s time for Lady Gaga to come full circle and start ripping off Kylie again. The skirt drops right when the beat does. Oh right, Kylie’s on Roc Nation now, lololol.

Grade: B

Best YouTube Comment: “it’s like a baptism.. this washed away the filth of applause and roar it’s so gooood” — Mendicant Bias

 

4. Rihanna ft. David Guetta, “Right Now”

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.

Grade: F

Best YouTube Comment: “David Guetta Dubsteeep?????????” — Dosis Weed

 

5. Plumb, “Need You Now (How Many Times)”

Plumb is a Christian rock singer named after a Suzanne Vega song. This is a dance song about Plumb’s teenage panic attacks. No idea what dance club this would play at exactly. Maybe a junior high slow dance?

Grade: B-

Best YouTube Comment: “few songs get into this big old mans heart this one does and I think God for it!!!!” — david wright

 

6. Avicii, “Wake Me Up!”

Good for Aloe Blacc (who does the vocals here), but I am not here for Mumford-step.

Grade: D

Best YouTube Comment: “country+house=boner” — natjimo ownage

 

7. Depeche Mode, “Soothe My Soul”

Depeche Mode with a dark and dirty Schaffel beat groove.

Grade: A

Best YouTube Comment: “So fucking sensual. My senses are working very hard now.” — nina2986

 

8. Pet Shop Boys, “Vocal”

In case you worried the Pet Shop Boys are trying to cash in on the Eurohouse sound they helped pioneer, just know that their single after this is called “Love Is a Bourgeois Construct.” Yep, still the same ol’ Pet Shop Boys. The video’s clips come from amateur videos of 1989′s Summer of Rave.

Grade: B

Best YouTube Comment: “I get so nostalgic to this song as if its been around forever.” — JackFan11

 

9. Audio Playground ft. Snoop Lion, “You Never Know”

When it sucks, you know. Sorry Snoopaloop.

Grade: F

Best YouTube Comment: “Love that song, ill use it for my Zumba Class!!!! Happy song!” — Edith St-Laurent

 

10. Cher, “Woman’s World”

IT’S CHER’S WORLD Y’ALL, WE JUST LIVE IN IT.

Grade: A

Best YouTube Comment: “SING IT CHER” — abbydelone

Filed Under: Grading the Charts, Rihanna, Snoop Lion

Photo on 2014-01-10 at 12.58 #3

Molly Lambert is a staff writer for Grantland.

Archive @ mollylambert