Ghost Shark Trailer and Sneak Peek: Maybe We’ve Been a Little Spoiled by Sharknado
If we’re being honest with ourselves, we can all probably agree that there will never be another shark-based entertainment that reaches the (self-consciously) batshit creative heights of Sharknado. Accuse us of a failure of imagination in this regard if you must, but you’ve reached Peak Shark when you’ve made a movie about tornadoes full of the ocean’s deadliest predators, especially when that movie [SPOILER ALERT] ends with a chainsaw-wielding Steve Sanders diving into the gaping maw of a free-falling great white and THEN proceeds to cut it apart from the inside to free a ladyfriend from its stomach. That cannot be topped. We’ll say it again: THAT CANNOT BE TOPPED. You can’t give Ian Ziering two chainsaws, or give Jason Priestley and Shannen Doherty matching weed whackers, or put bat wings made of lightning-shooting swords on the sharks, or have an earthquake that releases prehistoric sharks from deep within the earth’s crust. Well, you could, but what would be the point? The chainsaw thing already happened, and it was perfect, and we should recognize that without needlessly and artlessly escalating our escapist sharktainments.
That said, on August 11, SyFy’s giving it another go with Ghost Shark. (Logline: Ghost Shark.) It will probably be fun enough — just when you thought it was safe to get back in the haunted water, etc., etc. We won’t begrudge anyone another couple hours of shark tweets, because that was a good time for everybody who hadn’t lost a loved one to a hammerhead-filled weather event. But Sharknado didn’t just set a high bar, it swept up all the bars in a death-funnel of 200 mph winds, impaled the sharks on them like giant shark-kebabs, and then launched them into outer space, where they will orbit the planet forever, reminding us not to mess with shark perfection.
That said, we are going to watch the ess out of Ghost Shark. There’s a ghost shark in it!