6-Year-Old Death-Metal Zombie Girl’s Got America’s Best Talent
“We can’t wait to hear your sweet music,” said Howard Stern on last night’s America’s Got Talent, almost as if he had no idea what was about to happen as adorable, doll-eyed 6-year-old Aralyn took her spot at center stage, gripping her mic with apparent fear as the nation’s expectant eyes fell upon her.
And then the music started, the gates to Hell itself yawned wide, and she unleashed death-metal fury upon the OK-they-kind-of-knew-what-was-coming-wink-wink judging panel. The song’s called “Zombie Girl,” and yeah, it’s about zombies, but it could have been about rainbows, or flowers, or unicorns. When you open the lid of the Ark, the things that fly out can be beautiful to behold, but you’re still getting your face melted off.
Is there a future for televised singing competitions? There is if we can find more first-graders who channel the spirit of this guy: