Charlie Sheen Just Does Not Want to Stop Pretending to Sleep With Lindsay Lohan

Charlie SheenSays Deadline: “Lohan has signed on to guest star as herself in an upcoming episode of Anger Management slated to air in April. In the episode, Lohan develops a romantic relationship with Sheen’s character after becoming his therapy patient. The casting reunites the two actors, who also co-star together” — and, at least according to this photo, sleep together, too — “in the upcoming Scary Movie 5 … and appears to be a publicity stunt for the film, which also debuts in April.”

Wow! So many questions! Like: Why is this happening? Maybe fake sex with Lindsay Lohan is amazing? Maybe Charlie Sheen still really enjoys hilarious on-set fiascoes, but no longer has the energy to be the one providing them? And whatever happened with that $100,000 check situation — did Charlie ever get his thank-you text from Lindsay? By the way, did you know there are 90 more episodes of Anger Management slated to shoot? Maybe Lindsay can ensure her comeback as a working actress by appearing in, like, every third episode from now on? As a lawyer suing Charlie for malpractice, who then wants to have sex with him? As a driver whose car Charlie accidentally smashes, who then wants to have sex with him? As a potted plant in his therapist’s office, who then wants to have sex with him? And are we really supposed to believe that the Anger Management cameo is publicity for Scary Movie 5? Isn’t everyone already super super psyched for Scary Movie 5?

Filed Under: Charlie Sheen, Lindsay Lohan, TV News

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Amos Barshad has written for New York Magazine, Spin, GQ, XXL, and the Arkansas Times. He is a staff writer for Grantland.

Archive @ AmosBarshad