Afternoon Links: Vanilla Ice Goes Amish, Obviously

Vanilla Ice Goes AmishVanilla Ice has a Wikipedia page that is roughly 500 times the length that you would expect it to be. I’m kind of stuck on the paragraphs describing how he let his friends tattoo him when he was on a drug binge and the chronicle of when his pets, a wallaroo and a goat, ran away. There’s much more — battery charges, motocrossing, Juggalo wrestling — and Ice, a.k.a. Rob Van Winkle, is going to be adding to his own personal canon in 2014 with a DIY Network show called Vanilla Ice Goes Amish. The show is a follow-up to Van Winkle’s Vanilla Ice Project, but this time he’s going to a settlement in Ohio and leaving his power tools behind. I think his thoroughly modern facial hair will look very becoming with a wide-brim straw hat and some suspenders. Hand-churned Vanilla, artisinally chipped Ice.

Filed Under: CBS, Homeland, House of Cards, Loose Ends, Miley Cyrus, True Blood, VMAs

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Tess Lynch is a contributing writer to Grantland.

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