Afternoon Links: The Gender-Flipped ‘Blurred Lines’ Video Arrives, But It Has Competition
Though it may not have topped “Get Lucky” in the chart domination category, “Blurred Lines” has gone into total meme takeover mode this week. Perhaps you’d like to sully the memories of your youth with “Blurring Pains,” the Growing Pains–”Blurred Lines” mash-up that tosses a dick-size compliment in Thicke Sr.’s direction. There’s also a gender-flipped parody from “boylesque troupe” Mod Carousel featuring some very spangly man thongs. Feel like blurring party lines instead? Bill’s the hottest POTUS in this place.
- Gaga, can you spare a dime?
- Roseanne Barr and Tom Arnold had a public spat about old wedding tapes and sewing machines. “Remember when U said your uterus was a tracking device only your real uterus was not actually a tracking device. Was a joke.” Ah, the dangers of brevity. It’s really sad when people don’t have phones and can’t yell at each other with their mouths instead of their keyboards. Related: the stages of coping with Internet hate.
- Emojis are killing kids’ brains.
- IFC orders another season of Maron.
- Ranking music’s saddest girls (“This poor girl lives in Los Angeles, and has been forced to meet movie stars, including Sonny Bono, who is now dead”). And beware of resting bitch face, which we now must take very, very seriously.
- It’s a troll story, baby just say /mu/.
- Game of Thrones: In Memoriam, with extra sword noises. SHWISH, you’re gone.
- The rise of the Netflix empire.
- “My dick lay limply inside my trousers, like a little lunch packed by Mother.”
- The Dumb & Dumber sequel lawsuit just gets bitchier and bitchier.
- Amanda Bynes is on psychiatric hold after starting a fire in Thousand Oaks.
- Freedom, Scientology’s magazine, is hiring. Tony Ortega must quickly polish his résumé and get in there.
- Music festivals got you feelin’ all downloady.
- WARNING: DISCO HAS INFECTED OUR DESSERTS. “This is ice cream with cocoa pulp, fried lychee and sherry-vinegar meringue. The flavor is complex but the most distinctive fact is that the ice cream dances like a slow-motion disco ball above a lump of what looks like sourdough, powered by a concealed motor.” Leisure suit popsicles and synthesizer sundaes.
- Damn, mom! I’ve got my image-processing headgear on!
- Jay Leno and Guy Fieri are soul twins.
- Jimmy Eat World covers Taylor Swift.
- A couple of photos of vomit.
- Chekhov, get your gun.
- “Called everything from a ‘horrible’ zoo to a ‘refuge’ for Chinese dwarves, the Empire of the Little People features acrobatic song and dance performances by little person troupes, all of whom are led by a leader wearing a cape and crown who is addressed as the ‘dwarf king.’” —China’s weirdest theme parks
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“Probably ‘Smokin Aces’, because it wasn’t my hair, and it was like, long beautiful hair that I could never grow.” … “Yeah. I take a supplement called Viviscal. And it’s supposed to help speed up your hair growth. And I really think it works, because my beard grows really fast and I have to get a haircut once a week while using it.” —Ask Jeremy Piven Anything About His Hair