After announcing his leave of presence, Roger Ebert passed away today in Chicago after a long battle with cancer. It’s a sad day for movie geeks, writers, and New Yorker caption hopefuls. Bust out your old Mad magazines and dim the lights. See you at the movies, Mr. Ebert.

• Tom Lennon bought a pretty great poem from a New Orleans street poet about his dog.
• Sorry seems to be the hardest word for “misguided 40-year-old person” Rick Ross.
• All of 30 Rock‘s movie references in 16 minutes.
• A handy guide to the villains of telenovelas (trademarks: an eye patch, “Tracing her pinky finger across her rised [sic] eyebrow,” toy cars).
• Stop threatening to kill Jim Carrey, please.
• Arrested Development‘s 15 new episodes are coming to Netflix on May 26. Just enough time to figure out how much a banana costs.
• Ryan Murphy’s “modern, provocative exploration of human sexuality and relationships,” Open, hits the marketplace.
• Benedict Cumberbatch has joined Guillermo del Toro’s Crimson Peak.
• YOLO on the street.
• Put your gluten-free money where your mouth is. Or don’t. Probably don’t.
• Your homework is: DESTROY THE INTERNET.
• Northern Renaissance implants (NSFW).
• Lil’ Wayne, master of the metaphor: “You got a problem, I can fix it like a mathematician.”
• Not the bees! NOT THE BEEEEES!
• In case you missed it: the artifacts of Scarfolk.