It has been brought to my attention that something happened on Game of Thrones last night, and I feel so left out that I guess I finally have to crack and watch the whole thing in order to feel the emotions illustrated so viscerally in the video above. I can’t even tell if these people are crying, because they’re covering their faces with hands, blankets, and dogs, but they do seem to have trouble continuing to sip from their tiny goblets of red wine and some of them assume the fetal position. If you’re suffering from GoT PTSD, go crawl into your hole and catch up on the best movies of 2012 on Netflix. It will all be OK. I think. Did dragons crash the wedding, or what?

• Penelope Cruz will be the oldest Bond girl when she stars in the 24th installment of the franchise next summer. She’s 40. Call me when you get Helen Mirren.
• Thrones spoilers ahead in this Robb Stark Q&A, though I can’t imagine you’ve been able to duck those today.
• It isn’t nice to call 17-year-olds creepy. So just think it really hard or whisper it to yourself in the shower.
• Stay salty, Woody Harrelson.
• Dominic West will star in Showtime’s marriage drama The Affair, from Sarah Treem and Hagai Levi (both In Treatment vets).
• Why yes, I do feel like jumping even further down the Cypher Raige/engrams rabbit hole, thank you very much: “The movie’s climax takes place on a volcano that could have been ripped right off the cover of Dianetics, the look is so similar. In Scientology, the volcano is a common thread through many different teachings. This image was used not only on the cover of Dianetics, but has also been used in many of Scientology’s TV ads over the years.”
• Rosie the Swifferer.
• If we’re going to get “the Starbucks of pot,” can we please get it with extra caramel sauce? And a tall size of one of those creamy strawberry things? And a breakfast sandwich? And the baseball mitt of fried apples that weighs as much as a dachshund? And a Frappuccino served in a sax bong?
• Here’s your crash course on the Nikki Finke/The Wrap brouhaha.
• MFAs by Dre.
• Headline of the day: “Local Woman Discovers Disgusting Sea Creature in Drain.” Sadly, it was a dead octopus: “As for what Bush did with her unwanted sink octopus: ‘My husband didn’t really care,’ [she said], ‘So, he just washed it down the drain, then turned the garbage disposal on.'” :<