With every new day comes a new chance to link you to “Get Lucky.” Tonight’s special is the “Ultimate Johnny Galecki Fan Video,” which can’t be explained so much as delivered to your eyes and brain in a vacuum-sealed pouch. Also I just found out that the lyrics and performance were so “spontaneous” for Pharrell that he had trouble remembering that he’d ever recorded it. Those robots have the power to revoke access to your random session memories.

• How to eat like Ron Swanson.
• Rihanna’s lipstick has been downtown, and it picked up a virus.
• Teenagers.
• “There comes a point where I don’t know how dumb I’m gonna look up there singing ‘Nookie.'” — Fred Durst
• Smoking, alcohol to lose weight is different from smoking alcohol to lose weight.
• Yes, TAKE YOUR TIME, George R.R. Martin. TAKE YOUR SWEET TIME. NOBODY’S WAITING ON YOU.
• Elton John’s “biographical musical fantasy” eyes Tom Hardy.
• Lynch & Peele & church & state.
• Flipping the birders.
• Your summer reading list kicks off with memoirs.
• Patrick Stewart is the best. So is pizza.
• Does the dog die?
• It’s SPELLING BEE TIME. Bottoms up.
• A charming all-male panel on Fox News explodes because women have jobs. Their outrage is backed up by “science”! It’s “biology”! “The male is typically the dominant role” and this insanity is “tearing us apart”! Women having jobs is just the first domino to fall, because pretty soon “they’ll eat their children as sammiches between that ill-won bread and harness the power of their periods to eradicate men forever”! That last one wasn’t a real quote, but if you freeze-frame the video you can see that the words are written on their eyelids.