Afternoon Links: Dogs, Rats, Porcupines, and Girls

GIRLS! GIRLS! GIRLS! This Girl confirms that Girls has been renewed for a third season. One Girl imagines her father newscasting her tragic hypothetical death. Another girl looks like Justin Timberlake. And these sobby voice mails were not left by a girl, but you could have fooled me. The scary thing about girls is that they grow up to be roaring, terrifying women who make angry faces and eat your face when they have their periods (that’s the implication here, right?). “No Wonder Bill’s Afraid!” Bill loves women, New York Post. You know this.

• Hot shit: the potty-mouthed trailer for The Heat.

• Hey, this is uncomfortable! Dakota Fanning will be playing Beverly Aadland, Errol Flynn’s (Kevin Kline) teenage girlfriend, in The Last of Robin Hood. Blehhhh. Their affair started when Beverly was 15 and Errol was nearly 50. “Errol tossed a big party for my 16th birthday. He gave me a 75-HP engine for my skiff, a dozen chicks, a dozen ducks and a dozen goslings, letting them all loose in the Titchfield Hotel, where we stayed,” Beverly once recounted. Again: blehhhhh.

“Google Street Scene” applies the street-view filter to shots from Goodfellas, Back to the Future, Blue Velvet, and more. This provides ample opportunity to explode the Matrix by multiplying voyeurism by itself, at which point our eyes would all melt and become magnifying mirrors and we would look like sexy, futuristic flies. My dream is so … close … to fruition. [Rubs insect hands together.]

• Steve Carell’s out-of-Office auto-reply.

• Tricksy! Swift-y! Justin Timberlake sneaks a release-date announcement into the lyric video for “Suit & Tie.” (It’s March 19.)

• What does this interactive dog name map say about the swift march of gentrification?

• Send in the hedgehog cheerleaders.

• The most evil buddy list belonged to Cannibal Cop. :(

Scabby the Rat considers retirement: “In this context, abandoning Scabby the Rat appears to some union members like a call by such leaders to work out deals with management nicely, quietly and behind-the-scenes, instead of confrontationally, such as by placing giant 16 foot inflatable rats outside of corporate offices.”

Filed Under: Girls, Justin Timberlake, Lena Dunham, Loose Ends, The office

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Tess Lynch is a contributing writer to Grantland.

Archive @ PhloxLombardi

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