Tim Tebow is a phenomenon, Tim Tebow is a trend, Tim Tebow is a verb, Tim Tebow is a terrible quarterback. This year, the Denver Broncos QB captured the nation’s attention and imagination — all before producing on the field of play.
This past weekend, as the Broncos faced the Detroit Lions, I was dispatched to Denver — the epicenter of Tim Tebowmania — to take the pulse of the Tebow faithful. What I learned is that people want something to believe in, and in Denver, Tim Tebow is that something.
I talked to cabdrivers, Broncos fans, Lions fans, homeless folks, bartenders, waitresses, and one dude dressed like a jester. I found that the people of Denver have faith in Tim Tebow. They have faith in his abilities as a quarterback. And they have Jell-O shots. Lots and lots of Jell-O shots.
Here’s a look at what I found in Colorado on Sunday, when I went to investigate this frenzy over the most popular professional athlete whose performance can best be summed up in one word — “pedestrian.”
My journey started with this man, Jamal Gaither. Jamal isn’t the biggest NFL fan, but he had a tremendous outfit so I got his thoughts on Tim Tebow:
Gaither (left): “I think Tim Tebow is a good athlete. He is in the NFL now. I think Tim Tebow has his own swagger with it, you know what I’m saying. He can run, his accuracy is good. I think he is going to take over this whole position, the whole position of the quarterback now.”
Stephan Godleski: “Tebow Time is five minutes and Brady Quinn is coming up next. I think Tebow is terrible; I could throw better passes than him … He is just a good, clean-cut kid … and [he] is a hero and everyone wants [him] to do good, but he has no arm.”
Jacoby: “Why are you dressed like a pimp?”
Godleski: “It’s game day! Halloween, got to have a good time. I’m just trying to have fun! C’mon maaaaaan!”
Jacoby: “Do you think the Broncos are going to win today?
Mile High Monster: “I am not sure about today. I think it is anybody’s game, but in the long run, I think Tebow is going to work out.”
Me: “What is your favorite thing about being a Broncos fan?”
Mile High Monster: “The paaaartaaaay. Having a crazy time.”
Jacoby: “Why do you think everyone is so crazy about Tebow?”
Bronco Billy: “He is a winner. He is definitely a winner.”
Jacoby: “Why are you handcuffed together?”
Fred Wilson (handcuffed to Diana Shaffer): “It is called Tebowing. Anything you want, you just Tebow and it appears. Need an extra beer? Tebow.”
Marc Grabowski: “I think time will tell if he was sent from the heavens or if God is just playing a bad trick on us.”
Me: “Why do you think he has become a national phenomenon?”
Grabowski: “I have no idea. I have been asking myself that for weeks. He is wholesome, he is good-looking, and everybody’s mom wants their daughter to date him.”
“Sally Miller” (Woman dressed like a zombie, who later admitted she gave Jacoby a fake name): “I love Tim Tebow because he rocks and he is a Christian man.”
Mile High Jester: “He is just Tim Tebow, and good things happen. If you Tebow, good things happen.”
Me: “Why are you dressed like a jester?”
Mile High Jester: “I don’t know.”
Jacoby: “What do you think of Tim Tebow?”
Melody: “Of what?”
Jacoby: “You have no idea who Tim Tebow is?”
Jacoby: “You are wearing a Mecklenburg jersey?”
Melody: “I don’t know who Tim Tebow is, and I am wearing a Mecklenburg jersey.”
Jacoby: “When I say ‘Tim Tebow,’ what comes to mind?”
Leah Noyes: “Hot.”
Kim Griffith: “Pissed. That we traded a draft pick for him. I don’t care about the hotness. I love the Broncos and I was pissed.”
Jack Newton: “I am here to support the Tebow … he is the new god in Denver.”
Zoanne Terry: “I think he is good because he is not, ummmm, predictable.”
Jacoby: “Do you think they are going to win this game? (Ed. note: This question was asked when the Lions led 38-3.)
Terry: “I think so. They are going to pull it out in the end like he always does.”
Tom Gile: “I think he is a kid that’s gotta learn how to play quarterback. I don’t think he should be out there.”
Jacoby: Why not?
Gile: “He doesn’t know how to play the game, he’s got to learn; he hasn’t paid his dues.”
Jacoby: “As a Bronco fan, how do you feel right now?”
Gile: “I feel like we don’t have a team. Either offense or defense.”
Gile summed it up pretty well. The Broncos don’t have an offense. The Broncos don’t have a defense. But the Broncos do have Tim Tebow. From what I have gathered in Denver, that’s enough to keep fans happy.
That, and hundreds of orange Jell-O shots.
Eds note: This post was updated to remove an editing error. Sorry, Jacoby!
Previously from David Jacoby:
Grantland Network Podcast: The Jalen Rose Show
Reality Scorecard: Worst Real World Cast Ever?
Bad Quarterback League Reader Feedback
Reality-TV Podcast: Vinny, Deena, and Sammi From Jersey Shore, Plus Jay Caspian Kang
The Bad Quarterback League’s Historic Day
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